I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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