it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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