Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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