You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
