ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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