when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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