i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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