im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
