If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize