who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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