Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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