if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
