If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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