you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
