Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
