420 ftw
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
