Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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