You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
