I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
