ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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