I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
