You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
