Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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