i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
