I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
