He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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