I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize