The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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