love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
