He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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