Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
