Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
