put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
