I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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