You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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