At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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