I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
