Don't you send me to vm
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
