Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize