Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
