At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
