So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
