yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
