You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
