So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
