Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
