Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
