like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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