So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
