i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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