i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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