He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
