its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
