Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
