arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize