So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
