So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize