I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
