So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
